it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
