I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
