oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
