so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
