I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
