I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
