To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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