i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
