and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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