Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
