I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
