I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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