chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
