what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
