I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
