Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Randomize
