the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
