lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
