Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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