I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
