Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
