I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
3 2 1 whiskey
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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