hell yes lets make some ravioli
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize