pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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