it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Houston, we have a blender
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize