i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
