Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
