Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
