Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Randomize
