whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
