She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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