we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
