The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
