apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
