Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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