Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
