You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
