Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
