One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
