I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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