I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
