Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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