I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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