dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize