How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
