My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
