Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My dick has a subreddit
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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