Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
