I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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