Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
