When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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