Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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