Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
it's great music for shaving your balls
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
