Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
