Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
