Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
