i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
