hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
