I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My balls are so social today.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
And then my night got REAL pukey
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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