In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
