Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
