I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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