Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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