This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize