why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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